Ahhh, the Scorpio New Moon is upon us, exerting a powerful, magical energy, calling us to get in touch with and heal the shadow side of life in order to acknowledge and celebrate our inner Truth. That has certainly been the case for me this last week; in my personal life, my wider community and the world in general and it definitely hasn't been easy or comfortable.
For the last few months, I have been immersed in an exploration of Sacred Union with my Beloved. It sounds fabulous, but I had little idea of what I was in for. In order to look at our shadows, we have to unmask ourselves to expose our fears and vulnerabilities and all the needy parts of us that are longing for love and connection. It's like standing on the edge of the abyss or jumping into the fire of initiation. There is a huge terror in letting go of our security, secrets, and patterns and just surrendering to the process.
In mystical traditions, the union of the Divine Feminine and Masculine is the highest form of Alchemy, burning away the dross in the fire of love. Phew, it's a messy business but for a Scorpio Alchemist like me, also irresistible. Lots of tears, admitting our mistakes, feeling those sad and wounded inner child feelings that we hid away decades before, hoping never to revisit, forgiving, letting go and returning again and again to love.
I am seeing old patterns shifting, aversions dissolving, new levels of gratitude and self acceptance in both of us, deeper levels of sexual relating and commitment to love, finding more time for fun and joy. Despite the outer chaos in the world, life is a wondrous miracle. All is love.
One of the exercises I have undertaken in this process of healing and reclaiming, was to write an erotic story. So with great vulnerability, I make this offering to you my dear AMA sisters. Enjoy...
Walking in the forest is one of my favourite things. The meadows full of spring wild flowers and swaying grasses, alive with bees and butterflies. I felt joyful with a sense of oneness with nature, my Mother Earth.
Striding through the lush grass, I made my way to a forest ahead. As I drew closer, I could hear the birds in the trees and watched for a while as they chased each other in ancient courtship rituals. It was shady and moist under the canopy, the moss and lichen growing thickly on the tree trunks and hanging in graceful tendrils from the branches. The smell of the forest floor made me feel so at home.
For a while I followed tiny trails made by resident creatures, occasionally looking up to take in the grandeur of the trees, watching branches sway against the blue backdrop of the sky. I could hear the faint sound of a flute playing in the distance. Like in a trance I followed the magickal music which lead me to a forest clearing. Before me, bathed in sunlight was a standing stone circle of such beauty and magnificence, each one carved with spirals and symbols. In the centre stood the horned God, Pan playing his pan flute. It was the most enchanting scene, like out of a fairy tale.
Pan was gazing deeply into my eyes and I felt an irresistible magnetic attraction beckoning me to come closer into the circle of stones. With each step I could feel the heat rising in my body, my heart was pounding and my womb was urging me forward. As I approached, Pan’s hypnotic playing gently came to an end and he greeted me with a deep bow. I could feel the power and life force emanating from him and here he was, such a regal Being, honouring my presence with such deep devotion. Ahhhh, I could feel myself melting.
As he stood up, he plucked a delicate red flower and placed it behind my ear. He gazed lovingly into my eyes, then took my hand and lead me to a soft mossy area which felt delicious under foot. Turning to face me, he touched my cheek and ran his finger along my jaw down to my chin. It sent tingles down my spine and I could feel the longing in my womb awaken. Bending down to kiss my neck, I began to tremble. His touch was so light, so respectful but so electric, I could hardly breathe.
Gently he began to remove my clothing, revealing my naked body to the warm sunlight and his exquisite touch. Tracing the curves of my breasts, spiralling around my belly and touching my inner thighs, I surrendered totally to the pleasure. With the ease of great strength, he lifted me in his arms and lay me down on the moist moss. His aroma was just like the moss, rich and earthy. And then he kissed me, lovingly and so very sensuously. There was only this moment. We were wild for each other, a powerful animal magnetism that felt so uninhibited and pure, the pulse of life’s longing for itself.
As he entered me, my yoni felt the thrill of deep fulfilment, Divine Union of the Sacred Masculine and Feminine energies. I gasped and felt the currents flow throughout my body in ecstatic bliss. We gazed into each other’s eyes and as our bodies danced together, our breath synchronised and the field of love engulfed us until we two became one. This timeless zone of exquisite sensuous pleasure held us spellbound until the shadows grew longer and the sun began to disappear behind the forest. Snuggled in his warm embrace, I could have easily fallen asleep but I knew it was time to go.
With deepest gratitude I bid the God of the Wild Things farewell and turned to retrace my steps homeward. Such grace and magick had crossed my path that day and I knew I had been initiated as a Womb Warrioress.
Sound Elf & Alchemist Clan Mother